5 Myths about People over 60

By Pamelagrace Beatty

Back in the day, when I was in my twenties, there used to be a saying: “Don’t trust anyone over 30!”  Does that ring a bell for you?  No?  Then you are younger than me!  I totally believed it, and I recall an incident that shows how easily we succumb to myths.

At the ripe young age of 23, I told a 30-year-old woman I hoped I looked as good as she did when I was 30.  She looked startled, then laughed and said, “I do, too.”  I am still embarrassed about that naïve and rude comment I made to her even to this day.  I had bought into the myth that people over 30 were no longer young, fun, pretty, hip and so on.  Now, over 30 years later, I would like to address some myths that are attached to people way beyond 30!

Myths:

1. People over 60 are no longer interested in sex.  Yep, I jumped right into the juicy one. You can search the internet and get lots of opinions about that topic but I am here to tell you that after years of being on dating sites for older people, sex is still an item of interest.  I remember laughing at an article about older people living in senior communities, and bed hopping so much there were STD problems.  I fell out! My opinion was leave them alone and let them have some fun.  And send them to the doctor.

• Old people are grumpy.  Well, there may be a bit of truth to that…just a bit.  However, mostly, older people just tell it like it is…or how they see it. They aren’t so much grumpy as blunt.  Yes, it takes some getting used to when your prior experience with that person (who is probably in your family) was once a polite and upbeat guy or woman.  Now they tell you the baby is ugly, or your new hair style is a fright, or you are getting fat (like you don’t already know that your clothes are too small and you have finally given in to buying bigger sizes at Walmart or Value Village while you lose – good luck with shedding    those “few” pounds you gained during the pandemic. 

It is the bluntness that actually upsets us, not the fact that they are telling the truth. Truth or whatever, mostly what they are telling is their own opinion.  Everybody’s got one or more.  So, ignore them.  Being up in age kind of gives us permission to finally say what we want. It is one of the benefits of living this long.  Older people don’t give a damn anymore.  They (we?) are far more aware of the shortness of time.  We are clear we will not live forever, unlike the 20-somethings who see their whole lives front of them.

• Old people are boring. That is a matter of perspective.  If we decide our elders are boring, well, then they are.  But, if we listen to them from the point of view that they have lived for many years and we acknowledge that living that long takes more than a notion, there may be something we can learn from them.  There are cultures that respect and revere the elderly . They see these folks as seats of wisdom. The children listen to their stories.  They are placed at the head of the table.  They are treated with respect.  Doesn’t sound like our culture, does it?  I was raised to respect my elders. To this day, I can’t be rude to someone much older than I. 

Of course, I don’t run into that many who are really a lot older because I am now in the “senior citizen” category, but still, I am mostly polite.  I do find that the older people I have talked with have very interesting information. I have found that the longer I listen, the more they tell me and the stories can be delightful, engaging, and I learn from them. I am even at the point where other people’s relatives who are blunt make me laugh.  For example, I met the father of one friend who made quite the disparaging remark about his son’s girlfriend. The son was very annoyed. He had heard it all before but I thought it was hilarious, mainly because I totally agreed with him.  O.K. that was not my best moment but it was fun to snicker together about her.  Still not my best moment.  Sorry.

• Old people aren’t any fun.  Again, a matter of perspective.  This depends on what you call fun and how flexible you are about changing that.  Now, adding myself to the category, I don’t do all the stuff I used to do when I was in my 30s, or 40s or even my 50s.  I find it very difficult to stay up late at night more than twice a week and still get up early in the morning. In fact, I find it difficult to get up early most mornings, although I stay up late most nights, so no wonder.  I also don’t go clubbing and dance all night. By the end of the evening of dancing my feet have a lot to say to me about my moments of passion, and it doesn’t matter what shoes I wear.  I have a friend who does Latin dancing.  She may not have the same problem, yet we are the same age.  But I can’t do it!  Of course, if an older person just says “No” to everything suggested, well then, put them in the “grumpy” category and go have fun without them.

• Older people dress funny and smell.  Oh dear.  That’s a sad one and perhaps true to a small degree.  The “dress funny” may be true to a greater extent. It is like the poem by Jenny Joseph where she says, “When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple.  With a red hat which doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me.”   What she is saying is that she will wear anything she wants to when she’s no longer young and subject to fashion demands. I totally identify with that!  I have more fun these days wearing whatever I want. I am totally channeling my inner wood nymphet, flower child, hippy and hip self.  Just ask my friends; they will tell you. Of course, I have an excuse.  Besides being retired now, I am also an artist and jazz vocalist and I love DIY projects on my clothes, turning them into something new and different (don’t ask my friends about that!). I confess that some folks just give up and dress blandly, but that’s their choice. 

Now about the “smell.”  That’s a delicate one.  Some older people don’t go out much and get in the habit of not bathing. Some don’t know their clothes hold the odor of the last little “accident” they had in them.  It is true that the sense of smell lessens as we get older. It might be helpful to let your older dear ones know the clothes need washing or cleaning more often.  It might also be helpful to check your own clothes, if your nose is good, or just automatically clean them often.

There are lots of other myths about people over 60.  The truth is we, who are in the category, get to be myth busters! It’s fun.  The myth that we move into our sixties and beyond, we can no longer enjoy life is the biggest myth of all.  So feel free to join me on the road to ruin, wearing purple and waving a red hat!