3 Benefits of Sheltering in Place
by Pamelagrace Beatty
Until we were forced to stay at home, for months (!), I had not realized how busy I kept myself. I imagine I am not alone. It took several weeks for me to stop viscerally missing my activities. The easiest to get over was going to work. The commute into downtown was an hour at best and coming home, way more. I didn’t miss paying city parking either. But I did miss the fun stuff like going to concerts, jams, meeting my friends for coffee, pedicures, and lunch and dinner. I’m a jazz vocalist and I missed rehearsing with fellow musicians way more than I ever thought I would. That was the hardest one to get over and now, three months later, I’m just beginning to get over not seeing my musician friends. But I’m not used to being so alone.
Since being stuck at home during this pandemic, I’ve discovered three key things about the experience that I imagine I share with others.
- It has forced me to look at how busy I’ve been.
We are all way too busy. We don’t give ourselves time nor permission to just breathe for a minute to two. If we are in a family with kids, we are busy handling their busy lives. Even the children are too busy these days! I had no idea how much time I spent going from meetings at work to conference calls at home. I had at least one music related activity a week, usually two! Plus seeing friends, cooking for family elders and painting like a wild woman! I didn’t take time to take a hard look at what I was doing and whether I should or could slow my roll. Many are like I am. We get into the habit of just doing it. Being stuck at home has allowed time for us to take a breath and take a look at what we have been doing and how important is it to us.
2. It has made me question what’s important.
Are we doing what we want to do or should do? Are there a lot of “shoulds” in our lives and these shoulds are not necessarily things we actually want to do but feel we must because others are expecting it? Or worse yet, are we on automatic pilot just doing what we’re doing because we’ve always done that? Are we leaving off things that are important off of our daily to do list? Things like staying in touch with a parent or a friend who is ill, or finding a way to share the good we have in our lives with someone or some organization that is helping those less fortunate? Are we assessing what is most important to us on a daily basis and then blending that into what we do that day? For example, I love being creative and I fold that into what I am doing as much as possible. It may be something like trying a new recipe, or it may be coming up with a novel way to start a meeting at work that brings some fun into the usually serious meetings. We are all working from some internal motive or belief. Having so much time on my hands has literally forced me to stop and think about what and who is really important to me. It has also allowed me to think about how I can make what’s important to me a priority, even in this time of staying at home.
3. It has helped me see how much I push myself.
Sometimes we are the hardest on ourselves. I found I push myself to achieve, even when there is no one demanding so much from me. Those of you in household with more than one person may not be experiencing a lack of demand from others. I live by myself and still I push myself to finish projects that don’t even have a deadline except the one I personally give them! Seeing how I drive myself to get things done and how it causes me more anxiety and stress than is needed has been quite the eyeopener. I realize I can be my own worst enemy when it comes to forcing myself to finish a painting or learn a song or schedule and facilitate conference or Zoom call. I worry about it, berate myself for not having everything all squared away in short order. Really? Who am I trying to impress? Does everything have to be done in two minutes? Or is that just me demanding more from myself than is necessary. Some of us are perfectionists or are locked into how something should be done (back to those “should”). There are many options for getting things done. Also, we usually have everything we need in our lives if we take the time to look and if we get a little creative.
So, I appreciate the time and space sheltering in place has given me to examine how I’ve been living. I think we all are learning things about ourselves that we haven’t thought about before. My grandmother used to say, “It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good.” Meaning that no matter how bad something is, there’s a benefit for someone in it somewhere. There is a benefit for all of us as well in this time of not knowing what the future will look like. We can think about how we will live our lives differently, once this is over and maybe even while the time out is still in.
