Nice and Easy
by Pamelagrace Beatty
Getting things done without driving yourself crazy can be quite a challenge, especially for Type A people and recovering Type A people and Type B people too. The Type B people are not so obsessed with getting things done as Type A, but they are in the ballpark. Here I am in retirement and I am a recovering Type B person. That means I have always stayed busy, been occupied with projects, work, hanging out with friends, house chores and the underlying worry that I am not doing enough. Heaven knows I did not want to be considered an underachiever or lazy. Even now when so many of us are working from home, or in my case, working more for myself than anyone else, still I have to guard against getting too caught up in working myself into exhaustion.
There are a number of behaviors and beliefs that keep us moving like a gerbil on its wheel. Unfortunately they still apply even though we might not be working anymore. For example, part of the reason I have pushed myself to get things done now is I have believed I wouldn’t have time later or I wouldn’t do them because I would lose interest and/or enthusiasm for the tasks. Some of our obligations actually have to be done on time, like paying the bills, cooking and cleaning, maybe doing some volunteer work or paid work.
Some of the things we want to do can be handled a little differently. By thinking everything has to be done now we set ourselves up for not only being stressed but failing to accomplish all the things we need to do. It’s helpful to think in terms of tiny pushes. You have several projects (at work or at home) that must be done by a certain time. Moving each project along, one at a time, can keep your “To do” list from getting out of control. If you spend short amounts of time on each one so that you move all of them ahead you avoid letting important work languish because you concentrated too much or too long on one project or task.
Some time-management gurus have suggested, you work first on the easy and simple ones that take only a small amount of time. That can be helpful in removing some tasks from your list and your mind and lets you feel a sense of accomplishment. Then you can tackle the more complex ones. However, a large complicated project may have some urgency. Also, depending on the complexity, working for a short amount of time may not make a big enough difference on a larger or more complex project. I have had projects that have taken me anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour just to get back into where I left off and then even more time to make significant progress on the project! Technical work or projects that need research or others’ input tend to be like that.
Another behavior or belief that keeps us running like that little gerbil on the wheel is having to do things perfectly. For example, I was creating flip-charts for a workshop I was presenting a number of years ago. A colleague who knew me too well came into my office and said, “I thought you would still be working on those flip-charts. You always have to have every letter on them perfect!” She was right. I always carefully wrote each word and gave lots of thought to the colors and creative illustrations of what I wrote (this was before Power Point slides became so accessible.) It took me forever to do flip-charts, and you know what? They didn’t need all the bells and whistles I insisted on including. They just had to be readable. But I wanted these teaching aids, which were supposed to be simple and merely support a point, to be absolutely, breathtakingly lovely and perfect.
As a result of her comment, I let go of the need to make my flip-charts detailed works of art and just kept them simple. I wish I could say that was the end of my overdoing it, but I realize it was not. That saying “What you do anywhere, you do everywhere” comes to mind. I have carried more than enough food to potlucks, and when asked to come up with a couple of ideas for a project, I’ve come up with six. At work that seems to be appreciated, in private life, not so much. I have written manuals for coaching clients (and proud of it, but still, not so sure they really needed all that…but it felt like they did) and so on. What’s most important is making a conscious choice versus just acting from that belief that something has to be perfect and perfect may mean doing way too much. Just sayin’.
As you can see, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We may be pressuring ourselves just by doubting our own ability to get something done and have it turn out well even though we have been successful in the past. This worry has driven many a movie star and recording artist (as well as others) crazy…literally. Some call this phenomenon “The Imposter Syndrome.” It’s a belief that past successes were merely a fluke and we won’t be able to do it again and…everyone will know we are not what we seemed to be. This is erroneous thinking because the same brain the first success derived from is still with us, right?
Closer to home, I had a work colleague who managed an annual project and always did a wonderful job. But every year she freaked out about it and worried that it wouldn’t go so well or … be perfect! She would fret, sweat and worry out loud the entire time she worked on it. We would get caught up in her distress. We would try to reassure her that the project would go well but that didn’t work, she remained in high stress mode until the project was over. As her teammates, we felt badly that we weren’t able to help her feel better about how the project would turn out. Finally, after a couple of years of going through her stress with her, we decided to step out of the drama. We just gently reminded her that every time she did the project, she knocked the ball out of the park, and she would do it again. And she did.
A more subtle stressor is having to know the answer now! My initial experience as a supervisor was that I should have answers immediately whenever someone came into my office with a question. I was criticized for wanting to stop and think about it, so I conditioned myself to give answers off of the top of my head so I wouldn’t look inadequate. Fortunately, most of what I said was helpful but as my work got more complex, giving the right answers off the top of my head became more difficult. In my most current work assignment, I was in a very different organization.
Although I knew my stuff as an HR professional, applying it in this particular organization took some thought and research. The organization had not had a Human Resources department before, and they had a very different culture and history that was quite challenging. I didn’t know all the answers and would have to take time to look into policies and law that might affect the outcome and talk to various folks in the company or in similar companies before I could give the right answer. Giving the wrong answer off the top of my head would have caused serious problems among the employees. So, I had to slow my roll!
Stopping to think is now more appreciated than it was in the past.
Taking time out and doing something relaxing or doing nothing at all (!) can help us decompress, gain a new perspective, or get new ideas without our even reaching for them. Time out can be as simple as switching tasks for a bit or giving ourselves a break by taking a walk or looking out of the window or getting a cup of tea or coffee and drinking it before plunging back into work or these days, those conference and zoom calls. It can include sitting and meditating or listening to music. There are many people who have lots of music on their phones, computers or even CDs and yet never sit and just listen. I admit, I am one of those folks. But at least I meditate regularly so I’m not totally a loss.
Studies have shown that by taking regular breaks, we are much more productive than we are when we work through lunch, through coffee breaks (how many times has your coffee gotten cold while you were working on your computer? My tea is cold right now!) and take no time out to stand up, stretch our shoulders, backs and legs, relax and refresh ourselves. When we work from home, we also need to have regular time off. Working Monday through Friday and Saturday and Sunday without giving ourselves regular time off can cause us to wake up one morning exhausted and demotivated, and not knowing why. Life is flying by quickly.
It is beneficial to us to to fit in moments of relaxation whenever we can. It also helps to remember that we can and will get everything done that needs to be done on time and done well if we allow ourselves to have faith in our own abilities to do so. I am going to stop writing now and go out and water my flowers before the day gets too hot. I love looking at the flowers in my garden, they remind me of nature’s beauty and it’s like taking a very tiny personal break. So, it’s a good idea that I take care of them.
Carpe Diem.
