“Don’t Confuse the Finger that points at the Moon with the Moon.”
By Pamelagrace Beatty
Little known facts about Brussels sprouts:
Don’t Like Brussels Sprouts? Me either. Brussels sprouts are allegedly extremely healthy for us. They have a high amount of antioxidants which are compounds that reduce oxidative stress in our cells and help lower our risk of chronic disease. One study found that when participants ate about 2 cups of brussels sprouts daily, damage to their cells from oxidative stress decreased by 28%. Stress at the cellular level can be just as debilitating as emotional stress.
According to a 2008 research study by Heinz, Brussels sprouts are the most-hated vegetable in America! Yet, as a member of the cruciferous vegetable family they contain cancer-protecting compounds and glucosinolates, which stimulate the body’s natural detoxification system. Glucosinolates, when metabolized in the body, give Brassica (Brussels sprouts) their characteristic sharp or bitter taste.” And it is this sharp or bitter taste that people either like or hate.
The British eat the most pounds of this controversial vegetable per person than any other country in Europe (Perhaps due to less sensitive taste buds?). President George Bush banned brussels sprouts from Air Force One…so he wouldn’t have to eat them! I’m with him on that!
You may be wondering, “Why is she going on and on about Brussels sprouts for heaven’s sake?” Because when I was growing up my mom made me eat them. I believed her when she said they were good for me. She didn’t care that they tasted like what I imagined camel poop would taste like in solid form. It was, “Eat your vegetables or you won’t get any dessert.” Eating what I didn’t like before I got to eat what I did like has stayed with me. Lately, I realized I was still using that philosophy in many parts of my life and that I DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE!
Dessert first:
I started breaking out of chowing down on the ick first by reversing the usual order and eating my dessert as the first course of dinner some years ago. What fun! I found I still ate dinner but a little less of it. This was a good thing. Because I would have eaten more of dinner and still had dessert if dessert came last. Unfortunately, that was as far as my breaking out went.
Then, last week I decided to apply “dessert first” to a significant part of my life. I am a visual artist. I can finally accept and admit that to myself and to the world. It has taken me a lifetime to get here with that (smile)… I bought into the cultural and personal belief that doing art was a pastime and not a serious endeavor. When I was younger and just starting out, I was sure following my love for art would have caused me to starve. Maybe, maybe not; I didn’t follow it, so I don’t know. However, my epiphany of last week said, “Pamelagrace, you are an artist! You are semi-retired! And you partly retired so you could do more art!” But I was still making art the last thing I did on any given day. I did the work on other projects, volunteer and paid, before I settled into my joy of painting. I felt it could wait and I would get to it. Frequently, but not always, I did. So, I “ate Brussels sprouts” by doing the work I didn’t like first to get it out of the way. By the time evening came, I was less enthused about doing the work I love. You see, my best creative time is in the morning. That’s when I get most of my ideas. By evening I’m a bit worn out and painting, although great fun, doesn’t get my best at those times.
Shifting my paradigm, to allowing myself to spend time early on painting, goes against everything I was taught about fun versus work. (You see hidden in there that work can’t be fun, yes? That is also a false belief.) So, here I am just now, in the Third Quarter of my life, giving myself permission to do what I love. And I know I am not the only one who has struggled with that equation. Work versus joy. Brussels sprouts versus dessert. (OK, I’ll stop with the Brussels sprouts analogy).
What do we love?
The general question for us all is where are we blocking our joy? Where is it in our lives that we are saying “no” to something we would love? How many of us even know what we would love? How do we figure that out? How do we determine what it is that we would love to do, or be, or experience? One way (not the only way) of answering those questions is to “notice what you are noticing.” By that I mean pay attention to what catches your attention. OK, I’m messing with you with that wording but I’m serious. We may not think we know what our joy is but somewhere inside us we do, and that place inside us is trying to tell us what our joy would be if we would just listen. It is a quiet voice, and it may look or sound like something else. It may show up outside of us, but it is our inside voice talking to us.
For example, I have met guys on online dating sites who have done some amazing things. They have been all over the world. They have been excellent painters, videographers, photographers, social activists, writers, software engineers and more.
When I read about what they had done, I was so impressed and excited! “Oh, I want to meet this guy!” was my reaction. Fast forward to now, and I just met another one with a wonderful background. I told him I wanted to meet him! Yet, as I thought about it, I realized that he represented something that was missing in my life. I was doing what the old proverb said not to do, “Don’t confuse the finger that points at the moon with the moon.” When I first read that quote, I didn’t quite understand it. Now I do. I realize that I was confusing that guy and all he had done with my own desire to do more!
My inner self wants to travel, see different cultures, have adventures. I have traveled but I confess that I have always done so safely. Although I have taken trips alone, which some folks think is dangerous, I’ve been cautious. I have stayed in nice hotels and chosen countries where everyone spoke English. I have had some harrowing experiences to find my way around cities whose language I don’t speak. So, I play it safe. I have not traveled alone to some exotic land where the culture and language is so different, and/or I sleep in the wilds or wander through streets I shouldn’t be on. Of course, you can be in an unsafe neighborhood anywhere, but it’s worse when you can’t speak the language.
The latest guy I’ve met on a dating site has been to 45 countries! He has photographed elephants bathing in a nearby river in Myanmar. He visited the local markets there where the people displayed their food and artifacts on the railroad tracks! They hustled to gather up their wares every time a train came by. Then they calmly placed them back down again! How exotic and different is that from a mundane trip to the grocery store? So, yes, I was quite impressed with his experiences and the way he captured them in his photographs and videos. That was when I noticed what I was thinking and asked myself why was I so excited about the guy? I realized this was a “finger versus the moon” situation. I was attracted to him because I would like that kind of excitement and experience in my own life, and, up until now, haven’t had the nerve to pursue it. Now that I realize that, keep reading our posts! You may yet get some from me from the heart of some country that is way different from my quiet backyard. Cross your fingers for me!
As for what my story might mean to you, perhaps you can look for the answer to what your heart might be longing for? What is your inner self encouraging you to do that you are ignoring? What do you see out in the world that excites you, but you tell yourself “No, that’s not for me?” What joy, what fun are you missing by not saying “yes” to something outside of your comfort zone? For those of us who are retired, this can be a wonderful Third Quarter full of potentially amazing experiences and continued growth. All we have to do is say, “Yes” to what we are longing for deep inside that would bring us the joy we seek. And saying “Yes” is even better if does something good for others as well…just sayin’.
