Dreams Have No Expiration Date
Sometimes we have dreams that we don’t know about. They are there inside us and we are unaware until something happens that brings them to our attention. That’s what happened to me seven years ago. And it could be happening to you right now.
As far as I know, I had never dreamed of singing jazz with a band. I did love singing but mostly I sang in the car or the shower. When I was younger, I sang in a couple of church choirs, mainly because that’s what you did when I was growing up. I think my mother just wanted to keep me out of trouble so putting me in the church choir took up a lot of my get-into-trouble time. Plus, it was something constructive to do. I liked singing in the choirs, but I never felt I was in the right section. The directors made me second soprano. I felt I was more an alto. 2nd soprano was like singing an odd harmony to the melody. Yuck. Always the harmony, never the melody. I got the feeling I wasn’t the best singer and 2nd soprano was my punishment.
Then one evening, many moons later, I was sitting in a coffee shop listening to a guy play his guitar and sing. He was an older guy with a white mustache and beard. It was open mic night at the shop, and he was singing folksongs I used to sing along with when I was a kid. He played guitar well. His singing voice, however, was only OK and the comments he made that he thought were funny, were not. But I loved the songs he was singing. They were old folk songs by Simon and Garfunkel; Peter, Paul and Mary; and even some later James Taylor songs. I used to harmonize with them when they came on the radio. I could never sing the melody because the songs weren’t in my key. Not one of them. I guess that’s why I was designated 2nd soprano in the choirs.
I saw this guy perform at the open mics a couple of times. I confess I felt a little sorry for him up there all by himself on stage making jokes no one laughed at. Then I had an idea! He needed a “Vanna White.” You remember Vanna, the one who smiles and turns over the letters on that game show, Wheel of Fortune Well, he needed someone that could smile and entertain the audience while he played and sang. That someone could be me. So, I approached him, introduced myself and offered to sing with him. Since I loved singing and he seemed to need a partner, I figured he would say, “Sure, join me” and he did. I was very excited. I would get to sing on stage (although he made me swear I would only sing harmony because he was the main act, so I swore). I was thrilled, even if I was still in the 2nd soprano mode, but I didn’t realize yet that I was on my way to realizing a dream.
We made plans to sing soon. He just wanted me to jump in the next week and accompany him. I insisted we practice first because he had his own unique way of singing the songs and I wanted my harmonizing to match what he sang. It was December, he suggested we meet up in January and practice. I sweetly agreed, glad to have time to plan my launch into singing in front of a non-church audience. Then came the big surprise. The guitarist had a band. He wasn’t the little old lonely guy playing guitar all by himself. He had buddies he’d been playing with for quite a while, plus another female vocalist! Where were these people when he was playing at the coffee shop? I never would have offered to sing with him had I known he had backup musicians! But I had agreed, so I joined his band. Second big surprise: One of the band members was a guy I had gone to high school with. When I saw him, we recognized each other immediately! I remembered him as being a nice guy. We became instant pals. Not so with the guitar player who was the leader of the band. Nor did the other vocalist and I do well together; too many cooks in the kitchen. I still didn’t know singing was my dream, but I did know singing in this band was not! Six months of trying to fit in came to an abrupt halt. I was beginning to realize singing was my dream, but that dream looked different from being in this band with Mr. I’m-the-only-one-who-can-sing-lead. Slowly the dream took root and began to grow inside me. It started off as a little idea or nudge. Then it grew, gained color, speed, intensity, clarity and voila! I had a full-blown dream! I wanted to be a jazz singer.
Third surprise (you thought I was done with the surprises, didn’t you?): at the same time, I joined that band, I also took voice lessons. My vocal coach used jazz standards to teach how to sing. The biggest surprise yet was I discovered I could actually sing those! The key was – wait for it – the key. Once she changed the key she was playing on the piano, I could sing the melody!!! Whoopee doo!!! I was thrilled! I also discovered I knew most of the standard jazz songs because I grew up listening to them as a child. My parents played them all the time. Plus, I took tapes of Nancy Wilson singing those songs with me to college and knew every one of them by heart. I was in seventh heaven. I politely thanked the band leader for inviting me to join his band. I told the other vocalist she could now sing whatever she wanted (that was a bone of contention between us), and off I went to become a jazz singer. My high school friend in the band went with me. Having had his own band and being very familiar with being on stage, he taught me a lot about stage presence and singing jazz. Seven years later, I am performing as a jazz singer.
Nice story, yes? What does it have to do with you? I didn’t know I wanted to be a jazz singer until I did. I became a jazz singer just before retiring. I started late but was determined to reach my goal. Usually, we say to ourselves things like, “I’m too old to do something like that” or “No one would support me doing something that different” or “How in the world could I achieve that?” We talk ourselves out of that little dream that is just beginning inside of us before we even have a chance to see how it will go. We become the first ones to tell ourselves “No.” NEVER BE THE FIRST ONE TO TELL YOURSELF NO! If there is going to be a “no,” let someone else be the one to say it. By then, at least you have tried.
I’ve talked to a lot of retired folks who claim they can’t do this or that. They settle for a mediocre, sedentary life. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT! Life can be even more enjoyable than it was when we were young with the highway of our lives stretching before us. Just because we know there is an endpoint to that highway now, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the drive. All it takes is a little willingness to take a chance, to get out of our comfort zone, to step out on faith and see what the fates have in store for us! Doesn’t that sound exciting? We can have fun in this third quarter of our lives and have a fourth quarter to keep having fun. So, what do you say? How about joining me on a walk through the wild side? And let us know how it goes for you.
Carpe Diem!!
