How We Met
Pamela’s Story
Barb remembers the details about how we met. I remember all the fun we had as teenagers. My mother wouldn’t let me date until I went away to college, where she had no control over what I did. She would, however, let me go to parties and other places with “the girls.” Barb’s parents let her take the family station wagon which was great because neither our other mutual bestie nor I drove. Barb having wheels made going out to parties and other places lots of fun.
Barb was a good Catholic girl. Our bestie was a little on the wild side, just a bit. I was a classic moody teenager. I tended to be somewhat of a beatnik at heart. My favorite aunt was very “beat.” She even wore the standard black beret, black tights, sweater and skirt and played jazz piano in coffee houses. I adored her. My mother was terrified that I might grow up to be like her. I thought that would be great. But mainly, I was shy and given to fits of depression, whereas Barb and our third buddy were light-hearted, fun-loving girls. Later, I wondered how in the world they put up with me. Probably were I a teenager now, I would be Goth, if that is still in. I loved art, sunsets, and reading science fiction. After Bruce Lee came to our high school and did a karate demonstration, I decided to take up Karate. At that time none of this was cool. But my two besties were quite cool. So, I managed to be among the in-crowd in spite of myself.
As Barb said, once we graduated high school, college separated us. Although we saw each other during breaks in college, it was clear The Big Three (as we were called) were no longer united. I went off to school across the state and moved immediately to New York after graduation. Barb got married shortly after graduating and later had kids. The third of our little group got married and moved to Los Angeles.
I was thrilled when Barb moved to California! My bestie was back. I still remembered her as a teenager and how much fun she was. Apparently, she still was fun. Within a few months of relocating to the Bay Area she gave a party that was packed with people who all liked her a lot. “How does she do that?” I wondered. It had taken me up to a year to make friends in the places I moved to, even when my move was from one city in the Bay Area to another. I was intrigued. I enjoyed learning what Barb’s new life was like. She was head of an art institution and she even invited me to a student fashion show. I was thrilled at the creativity of the designers and the moxie of the models as they strutted up and down the runway. It all looked like so much fun. I have always been an artist at heart but had taken the road my mother recommended and was working at a real job instead of, per my mother, being a starving artist. Art, however, was still my passion.
While Barb was in the Bay Area, I decided to move back to Seattle and Barb was gracious enough to allow me to have a good-bye party in her lovely home. I couldn’t believe she would be so generous considering she didn’t know any of the people I invited but she was, and we had a ball. It was a great send off.
Fast forward to some years after I moved to Seattle. By then Barb was in Florida, yet another relocation which I found rare for most people who had stayed in their hometown for so long. Somehow, again, I don’t remember the details, we reconnected. During a talk with Barb I told her how much I admired her ability to settle into a new town and develop friendships so quickly. I enthusiastically urged her to write a book about how she did that. I told her there were so many people, myself included, who found it hard to move somewhere and start up a new life and create a new circle of friends. Moving back to Seattle and building a new network of friends and associates was one of the hardest things I ever did in my life! Barbara was not moved. She clearly refused to even consider writing a book about her ability to establish relationships easily. Instead, she suggested we co-author a book for people who had retired or were about to. For some reason, I agreed to do that. Maybe I agreed because I thought it would be good working together on the book and while doing so, I could somehow extract her secret for making friends so fast. Well…four years later we are down to editing the book. We have lots of good information, stuff I had no knowledge of in some cases until we interviewed people and did some research. Overall it has been quite a challenging and educational experience. I have not managed to wrangle out of Barb her secret for making friends quickly, but we have produced a book I believe will be helpful to the Baby Boomer Cohort (as Barb likes to call them). I am sure you will find something of interest in it and I can’t wait to hear from you about what that is. So, once the book is out, please read it and let us know what you think. In the meantime you may enjoy reading our blogs on Boomers and Retirement now!
