Jump for Joy!

by Pamelagrace Beatty

If you know you’re really happy clap your hands!

Remember that little song from kindergarten?  Wasn’t it fun to sing along and clap your hands, stomp your feet, turn around, and so on?  Maybe you didn’t do that song when you were small but I did, and I remember how much I enjoyed stomping my feet when that refrain came up.  Here’s what I have learned since then:  Most of us don’t know when we are really happy because most of us won’t let ourselves be really happy.  In fact, we don’t even recognize when we are happy or what we could be happy about! Truly and unfortunately, we don’t.

Have you ever noticed how little kids express their excitement and happiness?  They jump up and down, they squeal with delight, they clap their hands, open their eyes wide, and they smile.  It is clear when the children are happy unless they have been shut down at an early age.  I have seen that happen right in my own family and feel so sad for the child. Being shut down like that causes a child to enter adulthood too fast.  Because, by the time we become adults, all that jumping and squealing and smiling has been conditioned out of us.  When was the last time you saw an adult jump for joy?  When was the last time you jumped for joy – where someone could see you? It is funny to watch the commercials or movies where something good or something the person really wanted comes into being and they wait until no one is watching and pump their fists in the air as they jump up and down! Nope, we don’t jump for joy in public. Some of us don’t even jump for joy in private.  Why not?

We have been conditioned to repress our emotions.  Physically displaying emotions is childish.  When adults do it, we think they are out of control, silly, not very bright or worse. When I do it, I am very excited, and it allows me to express that excitement physically.  Rarely have I jumped for joy in front of other people, but I have waved my arms and yelled, “YES!”  

Why I think this is important is twofold.

• Not having people express their joy, especially when I have done something for them that I thought would or might make them happy is a downer. I become less inclined to continue to do for them.  Even if I continue to do for them, it is with less joy on my part.  It sometimes turns into a grim determination regardless of how what I do is received. Sometimes, I have stopped going out of my way to be kind, or stopped giving the gifts, or stopped trying to give 110% on a work project, because of lack of appreciation from the people I am trying to please. (And therein lies the problem: trying to please people.  We are bound to end up disappointed.)

• And this one is really important, once we get into the habit of not expressing our feelings, we lose the ability to even recognize what brings us joy.  That is a tragedy.  That is what inspired me to write this blog.

I was taking a workshop recently where we were asked to identify what we loved.  What was our joy?  I ran through a number of ideas in my head.  Perhaps I loved cooking, or painting, or traveling.  Maybe I loved singing, no, not really, there were other things I really enjoyed more. I took singing off the list. However, slowly it came to me, after removing singing that it was  something I really loved.  My passion for singing was buried deep in my soul.  I had forgotten how much I liked being in the choir when I was a teenager. I had forgotten how thrilled I was to be chosen as one of a trio to sing under special guidance of the choir director. I still remember one of the songs we sang that had a complicated harmony part that I worked hard on to get right. I had forgotten how wonderful it was for a short while to sing in a church choir 20 years ago and even forgotten how thrilled I was to sing in a small ensemble and to have a band back us up. It only lasted for a short while. Others became jealous and our little group was expanded into a second big choir. I had even forgotten how thrilled I was when I began singing as a jazz soloist a few years ago.  The first time I went to guitar camp and walked through the woods to the main hall for meals, I sang all the way there and back.  No one looked at me strangely nor made comments about my singing like they did when I sang in the halls at work. I felt like Harry Potter when he discovered he was a wizard and walked through the doors of Hogwarts, the magicians’ school.  I felt I was home.

So, why had I forgotten?  Why had I let myself stop loving singing?  Fear, lack of faith, and concern that I could not be what I wanted to be as a singer.  All of that got in the way of me allowing myself to continue to love singing.  I wanted to make money singing, and I did, but not enough. When I thought about it, I realized the biggest thing getting in my way of loving singing was me.  All those circumstances I thought were the reason were not.  I can love singing whether I make money or not.  I can love it whether we have a place to perform or not.  I can allow myself to be joyful and express that joy through my singing.  I can do that.  So, I am doing that. And so, can you.  You can love what you love; that is good for you regardless of circumstances.  You can love it regardless of others criticizing you, or it.  You can love the way you get to express the essence of you through it, whatever it is, be it cooking, hiking, writing, gardening, dry walling (does anyone really like dry walling?  If so, good for you!!!), and maybe watching the grandkids.

A writer once said, “Find something to love, anything!” The author was encouraging people who felt they didn’t have someone to love or didn’t feel like they could love, to find something, a pet, anything, and love it because love produces love.  If you can love over here, you can love over there, and over there and so on. So, let yourself break out in love!  Allow yourself to tap the passion in you, and then share it with the world.  You are uniquely you. The world is waiting to see you in action.  Find your passion and express freely. We only go around once in this life, so we need to grab for all the gusto we can get!!