Past Foretells the Future…Golden Girls
by Barbara Roberts
Remember Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia? These ladies were forever into something, and they always made us laugh. They didn’t even know each other before Blanche advertised for roommates, but they came to love each other, to develop a flippant camaraderie, and to fiercely have each other’s backs. Three widows and a divorcee were strong together. They showed the world that older women have a lot more to say and do than just reminisce, sitting around and knitting like their own grandmothers may have done. Life was – and is – for the living. And they put it out there that romance and sex are still interesting, no matter their ages.
The Golden Girls was a hit sitcom from 1984 –1992, and even though their final season ended nearly 30 years ago, after 180 episodes, the situations the Girls found themselves in then remain just as relevant today. You can find reruns almost any day of the week, on different channels. I still don’t think I’ve seen them all, but I watched a familiar episode of the show recently, and it was amazing how timely the topic of male chauvinism still is. Who says a woman can’t put in a new toilet? It was not without mishaps, including the repairman just leaving the new commode in the living room, to Sophia’s delight. She said it was a dream-come-true: a commode in the main part of the house, in front of the TV! Eventually, though, mission accomplished, under Rose’s direction.
By today’s standards, their wardrobes may be dated, yet their life experiences remain current and resonate with so many of us. During this period of sheltering at home, watching a lot of TV, it is not surprising that a chance happening upon the show as we switch through the channels has rekindled a friendship with the Girls. Many of my friends have been watching an episode here and there since the coronavirus has been keeping us in. And the ironic comparison is: The Golden Girls are at home most of the day as well. Sure, they might have a part-time job sometimes, and they do go out to dinner occasionally, but their activities and the crazy situations take place mostly at home. And they spend a lot of time in the kitchen, just as we do now. Their choices were different flavors of cheesecake; I’m more of the oatmeal cookies, dark chocolate, and wine kind of girl.
Living communities are all the rage, and one pays handsomely to live in one, to be around others, to have someone to play with, and to ward off the loneliness that comes from living solo. Just think, the Girls formed their own living community, joining forces, and fighting against the sometimes-cruel realities of aging. They tackled issues that are familiar to people in their 50s, 60s and beyond. Sophia was in her 80s. I remember the Shady Pines episodes. Sophia lived in the nursing home, but she hated it. When it burned down and she went to live with the Girls, Sophia was so happy to have her freedom back. Of course, when Dorothy needed to make a point, the threat of returning her mom to Shady Pines was always there.
The show handled the difficult situations of living before, during and after the golden years, highlighting the pain and the silliness and the gratitude. They did it with humor, which is the backbone and the glue of each episode, but they didn’t shy away from concerns about money, men, dating in your older years, the realities of getting older, menopause, homosexuality, racial bigotry, and most of the topics we still are living today. In that way, the show is timeless, and it demonstrates that we can get through life if we do it together, and we are able to laugh at ourselves.
As we navigate through this coronavirus maze, even though some of us still do live alone, no matter what age, and this goes for men too, there are ways to find community. Thank goodness we have technology – and someone who can help us if we get stuck! FaceTime, Whatsapp Chat, Skype, Zoom, and Houseparty have all been put to good use. I have a twice-a-month Zoom “meeting” with friends from across the country, which is more than we ever did while we were living busy lives, prior to the realities of this virus which have slowed the world down. My family has had birthday parties and happy hours via technology, and we even celebrated Easter dinner together on a Zoom call. Halloween, with all the kids’ costumes – adults too – was hilarious. Yes, community, feeling connected, and laughing together will get us through this new life we are forced to live. And the Golden Girls presaged this message decades ago.
My children, and some of their closest friends used to watch the show religiously when they were preteens – and beyond. I’m sure the vague, and not-so-vague, sexual references were quite titillating for them, and they got the humor. On another level, however, I think they also saw the possibilities to combat future loneliness for their moms. Many of my friends and I were divorced. Kids don’t like to think about their mothers being left all alone when they grow up and leave the nest. I also think they heard Sophia when she shared her feelings about the nursing home. The kids did not want that for their moms. So, they decided that a Golden Girls-type of living situation would be the perfect solution. The moms were already friends, and they could move in together; problems solved! Seriously, our kids talked about finding us the perfect house, with a water view, when we “got old.” I’m not opposed to the idea, especially if they spring for the pad. I’m not there yet, though. And some of my friends have remarried. No worries. I like living alone for now.
I also like knowing that we, along with the Girls, helped build empathy into our kids. At early ages, they were already thinking about living situations for their aged moms. And I agree with them, I would take a Golden Girls existence to the “dreaded” nursing home any old day!
What is your reaction to the idea, and have you thought of what would be the best solution for you? How about moving in with your kids?
