Is It Fun Yet?
by Pamelagrace Beatty
What do you do for fun? How do you define fun? I was asked those questions once and I couldn’t answer them. I thought, “I guess work is fun.” Then I thought about that again and I wasn’t sure because I hadn’t defined what “fun” is. It’s not that work can’t be fun; but because it’s work, isn’t that the opposite of fun?
Perhaps, perhaps not. It depends. For example, if the work you do is so engaging that time flies by and you don’t notice. Or, you find yourself happily (important qualifier there) jumping out of bed in the morning anxious to get to that work. Or, you talk about this work with enthusiasm to any poor soul who will stand still long enough to listen to you. You smile when you think of your work. You smile when you do it. If all or much of this is happening with your work, then work might be considered fun.
Unfortunately, many don’t find work fun. It’s just work. It’s a means to an end. A way of getting the money to pay the bills. It is not fun. O.K. then, where is your fun? The answer to that question could be clear or subtle. For example, on the subtle side, when I was a corporate trainer, I felt I was too serious. I wanted to have more fun when leading workshops and I wanted the participants to enjoy them more too. But it was difficult to achieve that when I took every aspect of the training so seriously. One of the participants once asked me why was I always frowning. I didn’t know I was doing that, but I did know I was thinking hard about what I was saying, and what was coming next, and concerned about making a mistake or not finishing on time, or not getting all of the subject matter covered in the time allowed, and more! This was not me having fun.
I decided to learn how to relax and make the classes I taught more entertaining for the participants by taking an improvisation class. I had always had a secret desire to be a stand-up comic. I thought it would be…you guessed it…fun. Having watched numerous stand-up comedians, I thought adapting some of their ways of presenting would help me to be less serious in my workshops. And it did. But at first it was tortuous.
We learned techniques improv comics used in their sets (or acts on stage). But first we had to relax. That was where the torture came in. My background as a professional trainer in a conservative corporation rebelled at doing exercises that were designed to loosen us up and stimulate the creative flow. It mostly stimulated my fear of looking like a fool! It did help though to have others around me doing the same stupid (or so it seemed) stuff I was doing. So, we all looked like idiots.
But, after a while, it got to be fun. Although some of the exercises were nonsensical, like racing around the room at breakneck speed touching an object like the door, window, a book, chair etc. and naming it something else like: “mushroom, tiger, silkworm, essay, photo album” or whatever. We didn’t have time to think! We ran around the room as fast as possible, shouting out the new name and kept going until the teacher said, “Stop!” This exercise not only increased our creative flow, it also increased our blood flow and provided a short round of exercise. Three for the price of one!
Then came the fun part – using improvisational techniques, onstage, in front of the other participants. Yay! No room for stage fright, just do it. It’s been a long time since I took that class but several of the techniques we practiced stand out for me. One was “Yes, and…” another was “talking heads” and the third was “Oops, gotta go; my mother is calling me.” That last one had a different title but practicing ways to get out of a conversation that had gone on too long was worth its weight in gold! My boyfriend has that technique down pat. He just says, “O.K., your ten minutes are up.” And I stop talking.
The first technique we learned, “Yes, and” was useful, not only for improv but for my life as well. This exercise involved two people on stage having a conversation on a topic someone in the audience tossed out. The goal was to take the topic and discuss it back and forth. Neither actor could say “No, that’s not good” nor anything negative. Everything was “yes, and!” Then the actor could add whatever they wanted to it. What made this exercise so hard is that we as a people, are so used to criticizing and rejecting things, ideas, and actions that don’t appeal to us that saying “yes,” regardless of how much we wanted to reject what we heard, was quite the challenge. But we mastered it. It is also a challenge to apply in many aspects of life, but can prove to be helpful.
I did not become a stand-up comic. I did, however, become more relaxed in my workshops and way more fun. I enjoyed them and so did the participants, although one person told me my idea of fun was not always everyone else’s. Oh well.
Some of the reasons we don’t enjoy our lives as much as we could is frequently because we don’t let ourselves do so. We also may be afraid of making a mistake, or we want things we do to be perfect. So, we work really hard at making them so (as though perfection is actually attainable). I have found that trying hard to make my paintings “perfect” takes all the joy out of painting. I have gotten so paralyzed by fear of ruining the painting with the next stroke of my paintbrush, that an unfinished painting can sit on the easel untouched for days!
There is also the fear of looking bad or silly. Little children don’t have that fear. When they get excited about something they show it throughout their bodies, literally jumping for joy! We adults would never be caught jumping up and down with excitement in public.
To overcome these fears, it helps to be willing to take a chance. So, what if the painting is ruined with the next brushstroke? Paint over it and keep going, or put the painting in the garage and start a new one. Afraid of looking silly by showing how much you are enjoying yourself? Throw caution to the winds. Yes, you might get a little chiding from those around you but whose life is it anyway? I once went to a ‘bowling night out’ with a work team. It was a “yes, and” situation. I do not like bowling, but they said the bowling alley had a nice restaurant. Turned out they were right. I ordered a dessert and to my amazement found it was heavenly. It was so good I literally said, “Ummm” with every bite. My colleagues found my enjoyment odd and made comments about it. Me? I enjoyed every taste of the dessert and ignored them.
Finally, we can have more fun in life by trying something new. Even if we didn’t like the experience, at least we got out of our comfort zone and had a bit of an adventure. And, if we are lucky, we might have a delicious dessert.
